"Comparison is the thief of joy" is a phrase often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, and it holds a deep truth that resonates across various aspects of life. When we compare ourselves to others, we risk falling into the trap of self-criticism or, conversely, self-superiority—neither of which nurtures a healthy emotional state.
In my own experience as a yoga teacher, I see this dynamic play out in classes all the time. It's easy to glance around the room and measure ourselves against others: "Is their flexibility greater? Are they stronger? Do they flow more effortlessly?" I admit, I've been guilty of the same. Yet, sometimes, comparison can lead to a different perspective, one that offers a golden opportunity. There are moments when observing someone else’s form gives me insights into my practice, allowing me to deepen my understanding or adjust my alignment in a way that hadn't occurred to me. As a teacher, I occasionally encourage students to do the same—especially if someone is executing a pose with a grace that I’m still striving to achieve. In these instances, comparison shifts from being a thief of joy to a tool for learning and growth.
Roxie Nafousi, in her book Manifest, discusses how comparison can be transformed from a source of envy into a wellspring of inspiration. This shift is crucial because when we allow envy to fester, it can lead us down a path where we seek to validate our self-worth by diminishing others—a dangerous road, particularly in environments like the workplace, where such behavior can manifest as narcissism or toxic competition.
Albert Einstein once said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." This quote beautifully illustrates the futility of comparing ourselves to others based on irrelevant or superficial criteria. Each person has unique strengths and talents and measuring ourselves against someone else's standards often blinds us to our own potential.
So how do we move from envy to inspiration? Nafousi suggests a few approaches:
Reframe Envy as Admiration: Instead of feeling threatened by someone else’s success, recognize what you admire about them and how you can emulate those qualities. This simple mental shift can transform negative emotions into positive motivation.
Use Comparison as a Learning Tool: Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this person?" Whether it’s a skill, a mindset, or an approach, viewing others as sources of knowledge rather than competition can open up new avenues for personal growth.
Practice Gratitude: Regularly reminding yourself of your own achievements and qualities can help ground you. Gratitude shifts the focus away from what you lack to what you already possess, making it easier to appreciate others’ successes without feeling diminished.
Focus on Your Own Journey: The only comparison that truly matters is the one with yourself. Are you better than you were yesterday? Have you grown, learned, or progressed? When the focus shifts to self-improvement, the success of others becomes less intimidating and more inspiring.
By consciously redirecting our mindset from envy to inspiration, we not only avoid the pitfalls of toxic comparison but also enrich our own lives. When we celebrate others' achievements, we open ourselves to a wealth of knowledge, perspective, and motivation that can propel us forward. Ultimately, the only person worth comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday—strive to be better than that version of you, (1% better if you will 😝) and you'll always find yourself moving in the right direction.
Would you like a different perspective on your beliefs , unpack your imposter syndrome or work out how to get out of your own way. I've walked this road and have the scars to prove it. I would love to talk to you about my transformational coaching package.
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