While engaging in a conversation with someone who is expressing an opinion you may not agree with, it is common for us to switch off and stop listening. This is caused by the fact that we have made a judgement about what they’re saying, that it’s something that we do not want to hear. In order to truly understand someone else’s perspective, we need to consciously listen without judgement so we hear the entire story, listen and actually hear what it is that they are telling you.
Approaching a conversation with the intent of listening rather than judging will put you at a great advantage when it comes to leading, understanding, and influencing people. When we truly listen, we learn so much about that person and about what makes them tick and what their view of the world is. It is quite difficult to do at first, but when you start actively listening with intent to understand as opposed to intent to judge, you will learn a lot more about the other party. It is common that when we start a conversation, we stop hearing what is being said because we either;
A) get distracted
B) are not interested in the topic, or
C) think that they’re wrong.
When we stop hearing, we cannot hope to increase understanding, which in turn strengthens the relationship and connection with that person. An open and a truly nonjudgmental person is very difficult to find in our society. We are conditioned to think in terms of being right or knowing better or our perspective is more relevant than others. This is where so much conflict arises in our world because no one is comfortable to understand the other person’s perspective. When you tap into the vibration of the other person and honestly seek to understand them, you will be amazed how much your relationships and influencing skills improve. This is a great attribute a leader can aspire to and it will support their quest for understanding their people.
We know that unconscious bias influences our decision, at the heart of that is judgement. Automatic judgement that we do not even realise that we are making because it in unconcious. we are not noticing what others are feeling, trying to tell us, or what support they need from us whether they themselves are conscious of it or not. Being more present in your conversations can highlight the areas where you are holding judgements and when we notice this our relationships may improve.
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